2017 // ONE

I cant believe it has been 4 months since I last updated my site! Life has been a little crazy lately, in a good way, but I have had little time or energy to blog and I have missed it! Since ChapterThree is basically my online diary, and with so many exciting things coming up, I figured it was time to get back on here and give a little update. Hopefully I will have lots of new content and updates soon.

fullsizerender

ONE // New year, new job

Well I am just going to jump right into it and start off with the biggest update of them all – I have a new job! I won’t get into too many details because I think I am going to do a post dedicated to this topic soon, but here are the basics…I left my public relations job with the federal government for a Marketing and Business Development Manager position at a super cool drone and technology company. I have WAY more responsibility and it has been A LOT of work but so far I am loving it! And oh ya, we’re in the wine business, so that helps!

71b2e77b1cccc926bb53019e7c3085d5.gif

TWO // We’re moving to the North End!

T and I have lived together for a year now and we are definitely outgrowing our space so we are moving to a bigger place, in a new neighbourhood, in beautiful brand new building. WE ARE SO EXCITED, although I must admit I am REALLY going to miss our little area of downtown and being just a stone throw away from the waterfront, BUT I am eager to explore the #NorthEnd and try all the new restaurants, cafes, shops, etc. I am planning on posting a lot about our decorating process since we have DOUBLE the space to fill, which I am super excited about. PLEASE send any fav #decorinspo my way, or join me on Pinterest since I have been pinning up a STORM recently.

THREE // Burpees, burpees, and more burpees!

Like every other #basic twenty something I started the Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide 12 Week Challenge at the beginning of the year. There’s a reason the app is called SWEAT because I am telling you, it is KILLER, like can we just talk about those effing burpees… I can just FEEL people’s sympathy as I #struggle through them. Although I have been super dedicated so far and am feeling myself improve I am getting BORED and worried I am going to give up before the 12 weeks are up. Any tips on how I can stay motivated? HELP! #SOS

tumblr_inline_nf7iu3r6fp1qk4if7

FOUR // Traveling abroad

If you follow me on social media you know I have traveled A TON this past year and 2017 is shaping up to be even crazier! The year started off with a family trip to Portugal which was AMAZING, the weather was perfect, we hiked almost every day, and it was just nice to be spend time with both T and my family #thanksmom. I will be heading back to Europe three times in the next couple months for meetings, tradeshows, and conferences and while I LOVE traveling, it can be exhausting and I find it so hard to eat right and exercise enough, so any #traveltips are sincerely welcomed!

 

That’s it for now!

XO

E

 

 

WHAT I LEARNED LIVING MY LIFE ON SNAP CHAT

On September 29th I lived “A Day in the Life” on Snap Chat (@imemennett), documenting my every move for a full 24 16 hours (need that full 8 hours of beauty sleep, duh!). I knew that some of my followers friends would find this super annoying, but I thought the idea of the project was super interesting – five young female professionals, from different cities, with different careers and different lifestyles, documenting their day on Snap Chat. Well it turns out that one girl totally forgot and another had a personal emergency to deal with, so the whole project was kind of a total #fail.

She-Falls-Down-SO-Gracie.gif

Now sharing a glimpse of my life on social media certainly wasn’t a novel concept – you’re talking to a girl who usually shares a daily Instagram post and several a couple dog-filter snap chats – but sharing my every move with hundreds of people judging watching me led to some interesting conversations and important life lessons.

Put things in perspective

Although the ‘Day in the Life Project’ didn’t work out as planned, it started an interesting conversation among my girlfriends. On the same day that I got some disappointing news about a media event I had been working on for months, my best friend had to perform a root canal on a scared and restless young patient and my other #BFF who teaches kindergarten, and is responsible for 30 screaming five year olds, had a kid in her class run away.

Hearing about the challenges that my girlfriends face in their professional lives really helped put things for me in perspective and made what I was losing sleep over seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. We all experience stress at different levels and in different forms – it is so important not to sweat the small stuff, to learn from your mistakes, and to treat others with care and respect because you never know what challenges they are facing in their day to day lives.

tumblr_m7s8m27uzk1r4pnzr

Stay connected

Posting on social media is part of my daily routine, from sharing my first #PSL of the season, to my #OOTD, I am pretty active on Snap Chat, Instagram and Facebook on a daily basis, but posting EVERYTHING, all day was seriously exhausting. What made it worth it was how much I connected with the people tuning into my snaps. An old friend messaged me to find out what I was listening to on Spotify and we caught up for hours, and when I was ready to skip the gym I saw a girlfriend’s ‘en route to the gym’ snap and forced myself to go join her and get my sweat on (and a good gossip sessions of course!). There is so much negative commentary about how our generation uses these social platforms but if a dog-filter snap reconnects you with an old friend, a face-swap makes you laugh on a hard day, or a friend’s gym selfie helps you achieve your fitness goals I say KEEP CALM AND SNAP ON.

selfies-self-obsessed-girls-makeup

Keep it real

As I snapchatted my day away it was so hard not to check in on the other girls’ feeds to see what they were up to. Had they been to the gym already while I was putting it off? Did they have a fabulous night planned while the girls and I were at my place in sweats getting takeout? There will always be someone who has a nicer apartment, has a cooler job, or had a better Friday night than you. All you can do is keep it real, live your best life, and stay away from playing the comparison game – it’s a dangerous one.

tumblr_nk7874Gh6K1uniezno3_500.gif

As I have mentioned before, it is natural for people to only show the ‘highlights’ of their life on social media – the lattes, the avocado toast and fresh flowers – and skip over the three hour meetings, traffic jams, and Saturday mornings spent hungover in bed instead of at the farmers’ market. But it is so important not to compare our lives to the highlight reel of someone else’s.  I love home decor, pretty stationary, and the dog filter on Snap Chat, but there is so much more to me, to all of us, than that.

Happy snapping everyone!

How to go ‘back-to-school’ without actually having to go back to school

13249733_193929321001346_1531618941_n(1)I have always loved the transition period between summers and fall, as the leaves begin to change, the air gets cool and crisp in the morning, and all things #pumpkin flavoured start popping up everywhere.  I think I have always associated this time of year with back to school shopping, seeing friends after the summer hiatus, my extra-curricular activities starting up again – September has always felt like a fresh start with new classes, new teachers, and most importantly, new clothes.

clueless-shopping.gif

This September will be the first in 22 years that I haven’t been a student heading back to school. I already miss that feeling of shopping for a new batch of school supplies, finding out who my new teachers are, and what friends are going to be in my classes – a fresh start. Although my days of going back to school are over, no one says you still have to be a student to get that ‘fresh start’ feeling.

Here are 6 steps to take this September to get that ‘back-to-school’ feeling without actually having to study, write papers, attend group meetings, take notes, and stress about finals.

  1. Buy one outfit that makes you feel fabulous.

It might not be the new back-to-school wardrobe we got when we were younger but according to science, buying one outfit you feel great in will instantly boost your mood, make you feel empowered, and is a way of reminding you of what you want and what you deserve.

rhianna-outfit.gif

  1. Stop hitting snooze.

I am the worst for this because nothing feels better than getting an extra 10, 20, or even 30 extra minutes of shut-eye but in reality,  hitting snooze leaves you feeling sleep deprived, foggy throughout the day, and your productivity takes a major dive. Maximize your productivity and squash your habit of procrastinating first thing in the morning by setting your alarm for the actual time you need to wake up, and actually GET THE F*$K UP.

  1. Give yourself a compliment.

While we were in school we got validation from everywhere and everyone – our teachers, friends, or coaches, through grades, compliments, or playing time. Now, let’s be honest, a lot of external validation comes in the form of a ‘like’ on social media or a right swipe on a dating app.  Take the time to give yourself a compliment, once a day, whether you killed it at the gym, look great in your new jeans, or penned a really awesome email at work.

taylor-swift-man-im-pretty-awesome-manifesto.gif

  1. Connect with friends.

We may be past the days of reuniting with friends for a gossip session at our gym lockers discussing who kissed who at summer camp but that doesn’t mean we can’t connect with friends we haven’t seen in a while. Call up a few friends and get together for coffee or a drink, and by coffee in September I obviously mean a #PumpkinSpicedLatte, and by a drink I mean an adult apple cider.

  1. Pack a lunch.

Long gone are the days of my mom packing my lunch in my pink Winnie-the-pooh lunch box that I had until I was like fifteen and to be honest I have totally fallen into a habit of buying my lunch every day from the convenient salad bar around the corner from my office.  Packing a lunch not only saves you time, money, and calories, but studies show that eating in the lunch room with co-workers can result in a happier work environment, and “happy people just don’t shoot their husbands” (Elle Woods).

giphy.gif

  1. Join a league.

When I was in school I participated in all sorts of extra-curricular activities from the volleyball team, to chess club (so I didn’t have to go outside for recess obviously), to the school band (I played the oboe and then was asked to switch to the clarinet when I was still sounding like a dying cow in November), and these team and activities are where I made most of my friends.  Joining an adult recreation league will reignite your passion for sport, is a great way to meet new people, learn a new skill, practice your teamwork and communication skills, and change-up your normal working routine.

Momma Knows Best: Lessons I’ve Learned from my Mother

Mother-daughter dynamics and relationships are funny; you spend the first few years of your life completely dependent on her for everything and the next few years thinking she’s trying to kill you with piano lessons, brussel sprouts, and a curfew.  When you get a bit older you realize that every bit of advice, every punishment, and every lesson she tried to get you to learn on your own was because she loves you and has done this all before. In honour of my mom’s birthday it is time to give credit where credit it due…

Here are the important life lessons I have learned from my mom:

There is such thing as a free lunch: Timing your Costco trips is an essential life skill.  The warehouse club has the most samples available during lunch time on the weekends, so you can pick up your lifetime supply of paper towel while also indulging in as many free samples of drinkable yogurt, cream cheese and crackers, frozen pizza, and fruit cups as your heart desires #itsbettertobeamember

Don’t dumb yourself down for attention: There’s nothing wrong with being smart, asking intelligent questions, admitting you like crossword puzzles, or read the Globe and Mail. At the same time there’s nothing wrong with discussing celebrity gossip and makeup or engaging in conversations about politics, business or world issues #realtalk

giphy (1)

It’s better to be misinformed than uninformed: this is basically her way of saying fake it ‘til you make it.  It all started when some 80 year old woman asked her how many hours it took to make a quilt when we were volunteering at a silent charity auction and my mom looked at her, and with conviction told her it took 162 hours. Not only does she have no idea how many hours it takes to sew a quilt, but my mom can barely sew on a button (she once stapled the hem of my pants before school).  The older woman, looking awestruck, proceeded to bid on the quilt, and helped raise money for the charity.  Now you’re probably thinking that was deceitful, but what I learned is that people just want to know if you know the answer.  Worst case scenario is you lie, go find the right answer, and go back and correct yourself.  You come across as someone who checks their facts and isn’t afraid to admit when they’re wrong #winning

Shop until you drop: You can literally shop until you drop (we have proved this several times) and you should because those shoes are on sale today only and some of the best memories are made from marathon mother-daughter shopping trips: from sing-alongs in the car, to stopping at every gas station in Michigan to ask for directions because you always get lost no matter how good your directions, to eating Kernels popcorn for lunch in the outlet mall food court.

brooke

If you’re going to commit a crime, make it a big one: Now she isn’t saying to have a complete disregard for the law, but if you’re going to commit a crime, make it a big one. Don’t go to jail for shoplifting a two dollar candy bar, go to jail for stealing $50 million from the vault at the Bellagio Casino #gobigorgohome

The importance of giving back: My mom has run more food drives, organized more fundraisers, and donated more of her time to charitable causes than anyone I know.  She has also volunteered my time more than anyone I know.  But, she taught me the importance of giving back and I am thankful for all the great people I have met through charitable work and the opportunities that have come to me through volunteering.

76982-jennifer-lawrence-it-changes-y-vhcg.gif

Nothing good ever came from taking shots: Or as my mom calls them “shooters”.  She’s right, the only thing that ever comes from taking shots of hard liquor is a smashed iPhone screen, puke in your hair and a fuzzy memory.

Get out of your comfort zone: You know I’m not even sure if my mom has a comfort zone.  You could literally put her in just about any situation and she would wind up making a friend, embarking on a new adventure, or at the very least getting a great story out of it.  She used to puts me in the most uncomfortable situations from sending me to a French triathlon camp in the heart of Quebec to speaking in front of hundreds of students, she has constantly forced me to step out of my comfort zone and I can’t thank her enough for it.

gg gif

What I Know For Sure

It seems like just yesterday that I started Chapter Three, as a salute to the sentiments that I was embarking on a new a third chapter of my life.  I had just graduated from University, moved to a new city, and at 22 it felt like I had everything figured out.  Well three years, another degree and a new career later, and just days away from turning 25, I can tell you I don’t have much figured out (other than how to pretend I’m an adult, the do’s and don’ts of Instagram, that tanned fat looks better than white fat, and that trends really do go out of style)  but I am learning valuable lessons along the way.

tumblr_nseuxarTyr1sasm8ro1_500

Here is what I know now, that I didn’t know back then… let’s call this Chapter 25:

  1. I mean I’ve always known money doesn’t grow on trees (or magically appear in my account from the ‘Bank of D.A.D.’ anymore) but did you know you actually have to get up at 7am every day and go to work for 8 hours and earn it. Every single day. Five days a week. Then you only get two days off and have to do it all over again. Who came up with this schedule, Satan? I’m seriously one Monday morning away from packing up and moving to the Netherlands.

Im-Working

  1. Surrounding yourself with great friends, especially girlfriends, is extremely important and only becomes more so as we get older and life becomes more and more complicated, but did you know you actually don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like? #shocking
  2. I’ve learned to accept my body and all its curves and imperfections by now, but at this age to even maintain this mediocracy takes a lot of work, a lot of spin classes, and a lot of kale and quinoa, and unfortunately, very few carbs.

carb.gif

  1. Wrinkles are no joke and if you haven’t started using a Retinol cream by the time you cross the mid-twenties mark you’re pretty much screwed. If you’re like me, still getting teenage pimples and already getting adult wrinkles, well then basically you’re f#cked.
  2. It’s important to set standards for yourself and know what you deserve, whether it’s in terms of a relationship, career, or something more trivial, but then when you actually get that raise, land your dream job, or find an amazing boyfriend it’s okay to embrace it and not feel like you’re not good enough to deserve those great things.Snooki-crying-saying-I-dont-deserve-this-right-now-GIF.gif
  1. Investing in quality, timeless, and classic pieces for your home and your wardrobe instead of dropping cash on cheap, trendy items will save you money in the long run, but obviously you still need to swing by Forever21 for a cute new dress for a GNO.
  2. The value of our minds, bravery, senses of humour, courage, and kindness will always trump a thigh gap. Complement each other on things that actually matter, because beauty fades (see #4) but your brain and your character are forever.

Happy learning everyone!

xo Em

 

 

 

My Christmas Wish List

I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone when I talk about how much I love Christmas. From shopping for the perfect gifts, to the sparkly décor, to spending time with family and friends, the holiday season is basically everything I love all wrapped up into one pretty package, tied with a big, beautiful, red bow.

11

With Christmas Day less than month away I am in full holiday spirit mode. As I type this I’ve got a Christmas candle lit (called JOY and smells like peppermint and marshmallows), Michael Bublé’s ‘Let It Snow’ playing on my stereo, and a cup of hot chocolate in hand, so naturally I’ve been thinking about what’s on my wish list this year.

Each Christmas since I started this blog I have done a gift guide (here, here, and here) so my friends and family get me exactly what I want to inspire people to get into the holiday spirit, provide some guidance to the men in our lives, and to share some of my best purchases from the past year that I think others might enjoy as well.  As I browse my Pinterest boards and my bookmarked webpages it is becoming more and more clear that there are immense differences this year between what I want and what I actually need.

I mean I know I’m not falling asleep on Christmas Eve anymore hoping Santa brings me Cinderella Barbie and a GAP fleece, but at what point in my life did I stop wishing for Victoria Secret pajamas and another a Michael Kors watch, but actually wishing for practical gifts like a Kitchen Aid Mixer and a spice rack?

So without further ado, here’s what’s on my wish list for Christmas 2015:

What I Really Need: License Plates ($68)

I’ve had the same license plates since I started driving at 16, and needless to say they are extremely worn.  The letters are literally hanging onto the plate by a thread and it desperately needs to be replaced but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to spend almost $70 on something so mundane.

What I Actually Want: Laurel Collar Necklace – BaubleBar ($68)

14087_01

What I Really Need: Spice rack ($26)

My kitchen has very limited cupboard space so having a bunch of spices take over my storage space is becoming a real hassle.  I like this sleek spice rack that can hang over my stove and save me space in my crammed kitchen, but seriously asking for a spice rack for Christmas is is like admitting that I would actually rather stay in on a Friday night than rage at a club downtown until 3am, AKA. SUPER LAME

What I Actually Want: Buxom Lip Polish ($23)

buxom

What I Really Need: Health insurance ($996/year)

I turn 25 in four months which means I will no longer be covered under my parents’ health insurance and will have to pay for my own prescriptions, dental care, medical coverage, etc. and that stuff can add up! Let’s all take a moment and pray that I can land a job with benefits and health coverage.

What I Actually Want: Samsung NX3000 Mirrorless Camera ($499)

samsung-nx3000-1

What I Really Need: Vacuum $259

I really need a vacuum.  I have a shag rug in my living room and there is really no telling what gems are hiding in there.  I am currently using a hand held dust-buster while crawling around on my hands and knees while wearing my old volleyball knee pads.  In other words: it’s not working.

What I Actually Want: Rebecca Minkoff ‘Avery’ Crossbody Bag ($244)

reb

For more gift ideas checkout my Wish List board on Pinterest here

The Authenticity of Social Inauthenticity

 Last week the internet blew up with support for Essena O’Neill, an Australian teen who had built a “career” for herself by posting photos in bikinis, on beautiful beaches, and sponsored outfit of the day posts. The 18 year-old Instagram “celebrity” announced to her 500,000 followers that she was quitting social media because of the negative impact it was having on her life, declaring that “social media is not real life”. Elle magazine called O’Neill’s enlightenment “captivating and thought-provoking” and CBC News referred to her as “revolutionary” while I’m sitting here thinking: didn’t we already know that?

FullSizeRender

For as long as I can remember I have been using social media as an outlet to be a smarter, prettier, more organized, more confident, funnier an enhanced version of myself. From talking to boys on MSN I would have never had the courage to talk to, to watching concerts I couldn’t afford to go to, to engaging in online conversations on topics my friends had no idea I even cared about; social media has opened conversations and experiences I otherwise never would have engaged in.

The truth is I think there is an authenticity to social inauthenticity. Posting a photo of the delicious lunch I ate today instead of the granola bar I shoved in my mouth between meetings yesterday doesn’t make me an inauthentic person. It is human nature to focus in on the interesting, beautiful, and impressive, and let the rest blur together and fade into memory. Wanting to show off your favourite version of yourself to the world (or 198 followers) and posting the photo where you and your friends look happiest, your house looks cleanest, or your meal looks healthiest, isn’t inauthentic, it’s authentically human.

Social media isn’t real life, but that’s not the point.

The point is to stop allowing “likes” and the interactions you have on social media define your self-worth. Self-love doesn’t come from the affirmation of others and your personal validation shouldn’t come from the number of likes you get on a #selfie.

If you get up at 5am every morning to work out because it makes you feel healthy and happy, and you want to show off your killer #beachbod on Instagram, I think you should. If you love fashion or saved up to buy a killer outfit and want to show off your #OOTD, post it. If styling and shooting pretty vignettes makes you happy, do it. Just remember you are still the same smart, thoughtful, special, beautiful, important person you were when you posted the photo, as you are at zero likes, at eleven likes, or at a thousand.

Social media isn’t real life, so don’t let it define yours.

What Your Halloween Costume Really Says About You

I grew up in a small town where up until the tenth grade my idea of a fun Friday night was playing dress up with my girlfriends and going to the local grocery store. We would buy whipped cream and cookie dough and then go to someone’s house and binge eat while watching reruns of The OC and chatting with boys on MSN.  Since this type of behaviour is no longer socially acceptable, it’s no wonder I get so excited for October 31st.  Halloween is the one night a year I can combine two of my favourite past times (playing dress up & eating junk food) and not be considered some sort of weird social outcast.

spice girls

{ Friday night circa 2006 before going to Sobey’s dressed as the Spice Girls }

With so many different costume ideas in mind, and all my girlfriends dressing up as something completely different from one another I have decided to breakdown the different Halloween costume categories, and uncover what these costumes really say about you.  Hopefully this will guide you, inspire you or at least save you from a Halloween costume catastrophe.

The Disney Princess

You are at that transition point in your life when you’re, in the words of everyone’s favourite trainwreck popstar, “not a girl, not yet a woman” (Artist: Britney Spears, Album: Britney, Year: 2001, #DUH).  You’re working 9 to 5, cooking meals, and paying your own cell phone bill, but still wishing you lived at home with your parents.  You’re sweet, innocent, and still hanging on to your childhood if only for just one more night

cinderella whatever

The English Major

You’re the girl who wears 7 nametags (Identity Crisis), covers herself in sponges (Self-Absorbed) or wears a cereal box splattered with fake blood (Serial Killer) as her costume.  You use Halloween as an opportunity to showcase your intellectual superiority and witty sense of humour but you’ll end up spending half the night explaining your costume to people, and the other half rolling your eyes, sipping pumpkin flavoured craft beer, and using words no one understands like austerity and profligate #huh?

The Hairless Feline

You’re that girl who uses Halloween as an excuse to wear risqué lingerie, animal print and some form of cat/tiger/leopard ears.  You’re also probably the girl who wears makeup to the gym, says things like bae and ratchet, and posts duck face selfies captioned with inspirational Marilyn Monroe quotes

Regina-George-Mean-Girls-Halloween-GIF

The Politically Incorrect

Unfortunately you missed the social sensitivity seminar and showed up at the party dressed as an “Indian”, “Anna-Rexia” or in black face.  Eating disorders, ethnicity and race aren’t costumes. No matter the current cultural climate, you can’t divorce the history of racism attached to something like blackface or cultural appropriation*. You’re better than that girlfriend #keepitclassy

The Pop Culture Icon

You’re the @LaineyGossip of your friend group, always know the latest celebrity gossip and saw every meme, vine, and YouTube video before it went viral.  You keep up with all 136 members of the Kardashian-Jenner-West-Odom-Disick klan, consider E! News actual news, and saw Bennifer’s separation coming like 3 years ago.   You know North West is soo 2013, this Halloween it’s all about Kim Kardashian’s Break the Internet moment, Tom Brady and his deflated football, and Taylor Swift and her #GIRLSQUAD in the Bad Blood music video

Redhead-Bad-Blood-Taylor

The Soccer Mom

If you’re the girl who shows up at a Halloween party dressed up as a witch, vampire, Frankenstein, skeleton or ghost people should avoid you at all cost.  You are obviously super boring, have no sense of humour, and probably want to talk about tax reform or politics #snooze.  These costumes are only okay for soccer moms who live in the suburbs and are handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, and even then they’re still super lame

The Cady Heron

Halloween is your favourite night of the year; you love to tell ghost stories, drag your friends to haunted houses and give trick-or-treaters nightmares.  You’re confident and fun, but like, seriously get away from me you’re terrifying.

cady-heron

The Pinterest-ed

You’re creative, crafty and basically the DIY Queen.  You’ve been planning this costume for months and can’t wait to show everyone what you can do with a little papier-mâché and a glue gun.  You also are probably one of those overachievers who like make their bed every morning and remember to take their birth control

Have a safe & happy Halloween everyone!

*http://www.teenvogue.com/story/no-blackface-halloween-costumes

Listen Up Fellas: The 6 Types of Girls to Avoid

My guy friends are always coming to me for a female’s perspective when they need advice about dating texting.  I like to think it’s because they see me as a smart, level headed and self-aware woman, but maybe they just think crazy knows crazy #whoknows.  There are so many articles out there that warn girls about the kinds of guys to stay away from on the dating scene (aka Mr. Insecure, The Ladies Man, and Still Lives with His Parents Guy). As a gal with some great male friends I have decided to take it upon myself to identify the kinds of girls our dear friends should stay away from.

EmilyTexting

Full disclosure: each of these “girls” were inspired by women my guy friends have dated, ladies I know, my own dating texting experience, and even some of my closest friends (you know who you are).

Gentlemen, you’ve been warned!

  1. The Desperate Housewife

This is the girl who is always willing to hangout and will change her plans at the drop of a hat for the possibility of making out hanging out with her crush.  She is always the one to initiate the conversation and hangouts, responds to every text in record time and is guilty of sending multiple, consecutively unanswered text messages #eek

selenagif

  1. The Sweetheart

This is the sweetheart who gives every guy a fair shot regardless of their opening line, physical appearance, career status, or Tinder profile pic.  She is a hopeless romantic, thinks there could be potential with anyone and everyone and is always looking for Mr. Right even if they are so, so wrong.   She believes the “sorry I passed out” text and is always the first to apologize.

  1. The Athlete

It’s all about games for this girl and she sure knows how to play them.  She plays hard to get, sends calls to voicemail then immediately sends a snapchat, instagrams photos with a new bro every weekend, and ignores texts for days only to respond with the perfect one liner.  She acts like she couldn’t care less which seems to make the boys care a whole lot more.  Think Kristin Cavallari circa Laguna Beach Season 2 with an iPhone.

kirstingiff

  1. The Wedding Planner

This girl is planning her wedding, naming babies and practicing her new signature after a first date.  She responds to every text with a short novel and has probably already updated her Facebook relationship status after a week of texting #runforthehills

  1. The Sexter

She puts out over text before actually putting out, makes dirty jokes and insinuates sex at every opportunity, The Sexter has been known to send sexually suggestive snapchats, instagram scantily clad mirror selfies and is the queen of the “sexy text”.

amygif

  1. The Ice Queen

The Ice Queen never responds with more than one sentence, if she even responds at all.  She always seems annoyed, has no time for small talk and replies ‘K’ to 70 per cent of all text messages.

Happy Dating Texting Everyone!

HOW TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO BECOME ONE

I’ve been having this conversation with my girlfriends a lot lately, about being in that weird post grad stage of life. When you’re no longer a college girl skipping dragging her butt out of bed for an afternoon class, planning themed parties, and making out with her gym crush at the campus bar, yet you’re also not looking to settle down, buy adopt a pet and have kids anytime soon. Sometimes it’s hard to act like an adult when you don’t have adult responsibilities (see: babies, mortgage, a husband/wife, RESP, etc.) but it’s time to put the days of wearing Juicy sweat suits to McDonald’s on Sunday mornings behind us.  tumblr_nlrahePKVG1qdsjzio1_500

Here are my 10 steps to acting like an adult, without actually having to become one.

1. Update your email signature and voicemail greeting. Add those letters you just spent four years earning (BBA, BSc, BA, etc.) after your name on your e-mail signature and include a link to your LinkedIn account. Record a professional sounding voicemail so even if you are sleeping in past noon, or six vodka sodas deep at a house party, you’ll sound like you missed their calls because you’re working late or at a very important business meeting.  I recently discovered mine was me yelling at a club on my 21st birthday while my high school BFF Abbey smoked cigarettes.  (Update: Abbey is now happily married with a beautiful daughter and another one on the way, and I just updated my voicemail greeting).  And I think this goes without saying, but if your email address is along the lines of cutie_patootie69@aol.com change that too  #duh

2. Tidy up your social media accounts. I just started a new job so I was trying to update my LinkedIn profile pic the other day when I realized that I was struggling to find a picture of myself where I wasn’t posing with a beer in hand or duck lips. (Note: a long stemmed glass of red wine à la Olivia Pope is totally acceptable. If you don’t get this reference, it means you don’t watch Scandal, which means I’m about to change your life, which mean you should drop everything you’re doing and go binge watch it right now on Netflix #you’rewelcome #teamFitz).  All that to say don’t post anything that’s inappropriate or contains profanity and  delete pictures of you and your friends taking shots in barely there dresses, any photo that was edited in Picnik with an “inspirational” quote, and last but certainly not least, any photo that was taken with a computer web cam circa 2005.

3. Get smart about your finances. Download the app Mint, open a savings account and order a checkbook.

4. Get your nails done. Have you ever noticed how the girl with the flawless, chip-free manicure is also the most confident one in the room?  It’s a fact.  According to Morgan Stewart’s mother, Susan, the chicest woman on the planet, having chipped nail polish is your way of telling the world that you probably also wear dirty underwear #barf.

5. Decorate. Invest in beautiful and unessential home décor accents like throw pillows, coffee table books, trays, and candles. Fill your home with fresh flowers and stop hanging art with sticky tack or masking tape.

6. Floss.

7. Have a go-to drink order. There is something so sexy grown up about a woman who knows exactly what she wants, even if it’s just knowing what to order at a bar (Pre-hangover: Gin and soda, two limes, Post-hangover: Caesar, spicy bean, no celery) but if you are one of those weirdos health conscious women who says no to alcohol, knowing your exact coffee order is almost just as sexy. PS. Nothing is more chic than ordering your coffee black.

8. Stay informed. Listen, read or watch the news and not just while you’re at the nail salon or waiting in line at the bank (see steps 3 &4). Subscribe to The Skimm, download a news app that you can listen to on your commute to work, or at the very least follow some news networks on Twitter.

9. Stop wearing sweatpants outside of the house. End of story.

10. Eat quinoa and kale. And talk about eating quinoa and kale; it’s just what adults do. But really these two super foods contain all the energy, vitamins, healthy fats, protein, iron, fibre, and calcium that you need to get through the day and do all the things that adults have to do (see steps 1-9).

1421074970-17

All that being said, the most important step to becoming an adult is discovering who you really are, what your beliefs are and what you stand for.  Your twenties is a time to figure out what’s most important to you, what you want to work towards and what the best version of yourself really looks like.  It is my firm belief that sparkly, monogrammed and animal print throw pillows will be essential on your road to self-discovery.  Happy Adulting everyone!